Forgiveness

The first step in my healing is FORGIVENESS. That is difficult, but I must forgive the craziness, the distrust, the making me walk on eggshells to keep me in line. I refused to acknowledge these things when I should have been able to see. But, you see, I was blinded by love for the person I thought he was. Down inside, I'm sure he still is, but I can't worry about it anymore. He has blocked me from contacting him & I will no longer try to reach him...I'm tired of trying to explain when I know I didn't do anything wrong except to give my love to a guy that can't accept it. I was too enthusiastic...I'm sorry, but I gave everything I had...but I guess it was too much!

I hope I don't get to be distrustful when, as my best friend says, the right person comes along. I'll probably be wary, to say the least. But I was ripe for the picking...not now...but then I guess I was THEN! I guess I was merely a babe in the woods...didn't know much in my semi-sheltered life. Well, if nothing else, he educated me about that! I will thank him for that! Not that I didn't know about things...I'm not that naive...I just had no direct contact except through my nursing career. I'm not sure I'll be able to trust anyone again as much as I trusted him though. Give me a gold medal for being gullible and too trusting! Wow, I won the GOLD for idiocy!
And still, after all he's done to me, I wish him the very best in life...I hope he will find what he needs...it certainly wasn't with me. What will be, will be!
I will be successful myself. I am a writer of Romance novels, Thrillers, Children's books. I do illustrations for those same books and some for my brother, Ron. He is a published writer of the Thriller "The Seventh Sense"...I am very proud of him for following his dream. And I am a Registered Nurse...currently not working because of an accident & recurring knee problems. But I will survive...It will take time, but I WILL SURVIVE!